Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

One, two, three, four and five

Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

I wrote a funny joke.

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...