a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They then proceed to bake into tasty pastries which are then eaten for snacks or maybe a light breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo momma's so old, she lives in a nursing home and is on various medications that she needs to take to stay in optimum health.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

thumb_up thumb_down -26

girls basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Ok everyone, you know that kid that after his joke he'll put louis on the bottom because that's his name? He sucks at joke telling and if you see any of his jokes, DISLIKE THEM!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops