There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, FUCK, MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Poop

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops