I wrote a funny joke.

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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