Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? 17

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Why did the Jew go to prison. He slaughtered his family.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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Your mum is so fat, she is likely to do die before my mum.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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What did the mexican do when 3 INS workers came to his house? He showed them his papers and it turns out he was a natural born US citizen. The mexican then proceeded to invite the INS into his home for a cup of coffee but they respectfully declined

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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