Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

Why couldn't the pirate play poker? Poker is a tricky game - maybe he'd never been taught how to play.

What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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