Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

One, two, three, four and five

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

I wrote a funny joke.

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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