Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Being caught by the store manager, arrested, convicted, and thrown into jail for petty theft and then getting ass-raped for the next 3 months all because you wanted to check an apple without paying for it.

A woman woke up next to her husband that was already awake. She said "F*** you" and walked out of the house. On the other side of the world, a horse is giving birth to a chihuahua.

What did the boy in the striped pajamas get for Christmas? A shower.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

A guy walks into a doughnut shop and says "I'll have a small coffee and a doughnut." The shop keeper says, "I'm sorry we ran out of coffee." The guy says, "All right I'll just have coffee than"

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

Whats worse than having a parking cone rammed up your ass? Realizing that a big orange cone is up your ass.

I wrote a funny joke.

One, two, three, four and five

Have ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Neither has she.

Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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