Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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