What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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Q.If your have $6.00 and I have a hair cut, how many donkeys are in the paddock? A. Aliens with a hat????????????

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

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What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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What's sad about the Holocaust? Lots of men, women, children were brutally murdered in horrible ways.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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Knock knock. Whose there? No one, I'm trying to tell a knock knock joke.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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