Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Why? Why not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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a robber walks into a bank. he steals everything and kills the guards

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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