What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

What's black, white and red all over? A nun that fell down a flight of stairs

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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