A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck could chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would if a wood chuck could chuck wood.

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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NEVER

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Chris. Chris who? Wow, I thought we were better friends than that.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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Three guys walk into a bar. They each have a few drinks. Then all three leave responsibly in a taxi.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? An airline pilot.

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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