knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

What do you call an animal with 4 legs ? A dog...

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

A man walks into a bar. It's a fine establishment. He orders a couple of beers and takes a cab home like a responsible man would. He is then killed with a croquet mallet.

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

Justin beiber comment if u get it

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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