Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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