why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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One, two, three, four and five

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Why was the girl's clitoris cut off? Her country practiced Sharia Law.

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Your mother is so fat that she has a very big butt and large breasts, which is quite attractive to some men, especially if they are open-minded.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He grew tired of hearing the most over-used joke set up in recorded history.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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WITH YOUR RED THUMBS COMBINED! I AM CAPTAIN MORAL! You: GOOOOO (AWAY) MORAL! CAPTAIN MORAL MAN, IS A HERO, GONNA TAKE GREEN THUMBS RIGHT BACK TO ZERO... Moral: Okay that is all I remember about the Captain Planet Theme song... GIVE ME RED THUMBS MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! PS: Redhead, three months have passed (more or less) I wont call you because we agreed you would get of this fucking place, but I can visit you if you are a good little girl! And yeah I am calling you Red, Tifa just reminds me of Final Fantasy and your big bosoms so yeaaaaah get your little red haired cunt over here so we can chat yes?

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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