What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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knock knock? who's there Dave Come on in!!!!!

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

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what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

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What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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What do you call a Mexican who steals cars? John Doe, until he's been identified.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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There once was a girl who took away my source of entertainment. Her name was Nicole.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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A man looks in his toilet and gazes in fear of the fact that there is blood on his bowel movement. He has colitis

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops