Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

Why did a boy get slapped in the hand? A; because he had it in the persons face

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

Can anyone Lenin money?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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