You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walked into a bar and his cat died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -15

one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your no better than a cockroach

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What funny about AIDS nothing its a terrible disease

thumb_up thumb_down -15

We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops