What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Friends are just like trees. They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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What do you call a man covered with cottoncandy and goes to the store and buys a jar of pickles? George

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops