What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? . . . . . . . Roberto

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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12 in general

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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