How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

How do you get a clown to get off a swingset? Chop off his arms and legs.

A American seeking into mexico

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's Black

What happened to the chicken that crossed the road. It got hit by a fridge.

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

Allmighty Genie vs Common douche Genie: I the allmighty Genie am at your command, I can grant you any three WISHES Common douche: Okay! I want to sit on my own lap Genie: Uh...Well...You uh sure you want that? I Uh... Wait a moment please... Wimp wins Genieous victory.

Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

whats worse than a dog biting you? two dogs biting you whats worse than that? the Holocaust whats worse than that three dog bites and one of them happens to have rabies

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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