Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What do u call a white hourse with no ass Penelope

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Asian women drivers...

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An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops