A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

Dane Cook makes a joke.

Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Why did the man throw the baby at the brick wall? I don't know, but that is a tragic incident and I will now go mourn.

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

a man walks into a casino, it's the third time this week and he's contemplating suicide.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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