The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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knock knock Goodbye

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Why did moral man lose his superpowers? Because he read the pointless superpowers section and realized its pointless... Moral: yeah this is my power... :(

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most rhymes rhyme But this one doesnt

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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