Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

You know whats funny? Women's rights

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

knock knock Goodbye

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

What is life? Paul.

Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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