I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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What do you call a Black White supremisist? Well you see the Black man was blind and thought he was a racists redneck. He then contracted cancer.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I'm blind

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Corn Muffins

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A man and his friend go hunting,one falls in a hole and appears dead. The friend calls 911 and asks what to do, the operator says ok first we need to make sure he's dead. The friend checks his pulse and finds out he is living, then an ambulance is sent and the hunter lives with minor injuries.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This joke is pointless, microwave.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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the sky is green no it is not

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What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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