once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well for a chicken to cross a road there would need to be a farm right next a road and, the fence in the farm would have to be torn for the chicken to get out and the chicken would probably end up not crossing the road because of cars.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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well use a tissue!

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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a irish man walks past a bar

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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Your mom's so ugly that after being ridiculed for for year she became very self conscience and killed herself. Her family was very sad for many years.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I asked her where you were.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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