What Did The Farmer Say When He Lost His Tractor.... "Wheres My Tractor"

So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

you know its foggy outside when you step outside and its foggy outside.

Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

Your mamma's such a whore, she sleeps with men who pay her.

Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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