What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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FUCK YOU

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" Then the horse left because that question is racist to horses.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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What Do call a dog with an e A doge

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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