A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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what word starts with the letter N and ends with the letter R that you never wanna call a black person? Neighbor

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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I went to church.. i didn't get raped. I went to school... I didn't get raped. I went into a back alley... I didn't get raped. I went home... I didn't get raped. Today was better than yesterday...

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ now I know my ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ no I know my ABC etc:

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What's worse than finding your whole family dead? Nothing. Finding your family dead is terrible.

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"what did the priest say to the rabbi?" "what" "my religions better

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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