How do you make a blonde go 'ewwwww'? Hand her a moose placenta.

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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"What did one Chinese say to each other" "I don't speak chinese.......!"

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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Your mother's breasts sag so low that the late great impressionist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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Did you know? . You already know!

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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What's big and messy? A big mess

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

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Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

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What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An even better question is why are the chicken morals being questioned every time it feels like doing something.

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Why did Larry drop his suitcase? Because he had no arms. A) Knock knock, B) Who's there? A) Not Larry

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

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What's just not right? Left

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Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops