so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops