When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

My mom says hi ............ Jk she says hello

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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