I have cancer. And you're next.

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Roses are red, Because they can intrinsically change color through natural dyes.

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Roses are blue Violets are unicorns This doesn't make sense Refrigerator

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What do you call a white man? A caucasian male.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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i saw amango it splootered

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SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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What's the scariest thing about the dark? There's a black man in my bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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