A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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yo mommas so fat she heard it was chilly out so she ran inside and got a bowl

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Haha, I get it..

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh hey Banana what's up? Nothing much. You? Oh nothing, I was just talking to Apple here. Oh hey Apple. Hey.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops