Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have to use the bathroom.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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