Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? He said "Get in the car".

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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what do you get when you have an albino black man, a lesbian middle eastern siamese twin of the female gender, a polygamist indian and a jewish native american? A very cultured and diversified posse of hostages. Take your pick.

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why was the black guy running away with a sack full of money? He was rushing to local charity to donate the money. It was closing in 2 minutes.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops