What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

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A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Why did the baby fall off the swing? It had no arms or legs. Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in the face.

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what makes a knight in shining armor a knight in shining armor? he has to have armor and be a knight.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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