human centipede

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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knock knock, who's there me me who he opens the door a kills yo

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops