How did sonic run at the speed of sound because he was fast

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

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I heard an awesome joke last night. I cannot remember it.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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"Roses are red, violets are blue," she explained to the color blind child, who was unable to understand the concept of color.

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Where did susie go after the explosion? everywhere. What was susie after the explosion? a puzzle.

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hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Let me tell you this really funny Dane Cook joke.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops