knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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