Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. Here comes the groom, carrying a broom, because somebody spilled something on the floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruising at about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, the cops were waiting. He was found guilty in court and forced to pay the blonde a settlement of $250, 000.

thumb_up thumb_down

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down

When's the best time to kill a black man? Never. Committing murder is a felony and constitutes as highly immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

thumb_up thumb_down

What blew the baby's mind? Daddy's knuckles.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops