What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

An Irishman and his sheep are locked in a barn together for 3 days. On the 3rd day his wife finally notices that he is gone, and comes looking in the barn for her husband. She liberates him, cooks him dinner, and they both laugh at the bestiality that occurred in the barn. 3 days is indeed a long time for anyone to endure.

What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

My jeans

Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...