Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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wanna hear a joke? i dont like kids wanna hear a lie? im typing with two hands wanna hear a another? my hand isnt on my weiner

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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