So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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What did the man before he was executed? Nothing. He was already executed before he said something.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What do u call a woman geometry teacher. Santains wife.

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What's like a whale and has a sprained leg? MATT ROSS THE FAT ARSE!!!!

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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sure!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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KKK: Hey i was just comming over here to invite you to a church gathering me and my buddies are having later on tonight, and afterwards we are going to have a big bon-fire to fire up our spirits. Black guy: OK sounds great. White people sure are nice now-a-days.

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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What you do you call a gay man with no arms and legs? His name.

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Turkey Balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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