Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man screem before he crashed his car? i dont know, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I like that, yet I wonder if our subconscious knows what it is what we seek, maybe we need to tell ourselves that we will find happiness, and then the mind leads us there.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a dog with no legs? whatever his owner named him it is a shame he can`t run and play with other dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Electra give her Dad for his birthday? Head. That's why her name is Electra.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call someone who is unwilfully forced into a life of emotional abuse and domestic violence? My daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the farmer say when he lost his red tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: Because she has no arms. ..... Knock knock! who's there? Not Sara, she has no arms and doesn't have the abitlity to knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama so stupid she was trying to put her M&M's in alphabetical order

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops