Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

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You are joking right?

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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Once upon a time, in a magical kingdom, there were too many similar jokes on anti-joke.com. One man thought he could be funny by writing a joke that referenced this, and be even funnier by referencing what he was referencing. Then he referenced that, then that, and so on until the layers of meta caused his brain to explode. Some of it landed in your mother's vagina.

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Laughter is the best medicine. No, Heroin is.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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