What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Your moma is so nasty. And one day she had a geust over and the geust says " May I use the restroom?" Yes but make sure you use the coffe can to the right because the letf one is full.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What's the difference between a duck?

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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A man walks into me and I say: "WATCH IT PUNK!"

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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