It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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What does the fox say? Nothing a fox is incapable of speech.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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SHUT UP JP

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops