- Anti Joke

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident.

Why is Ray Charles always smiling? He's not, corpses rarely smile

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? El-if-iknow

A man walks into a bar, and he died.

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

Frontbut-

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares...he didn't make it anyways..

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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