What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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What is green, and could kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops