Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

What is brown and sticky?… A shit…

like most people my age. im 27

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

Here's a joke The Holocaust.

What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

Knock knock Fuck off!

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

Whats fast, dead and make of CGI. Paul Walker

Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...