What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

What do you call an arab flying a plane? A pliot

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

An elephant walks into a bar. It was so big that it broke a lot of things.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

A man with Tourettes walks into his Daughter's kindergarten classroom. Fortunately, he was able to control himself and refrain from any outbursts of profanity during the visit.

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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