A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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womens rights

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

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black people

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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