Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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what happens when an Indian walks into a bar? they realize they found there way home

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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lets bomb africa

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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