What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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a jewish duck trips over a series of metal corckswcrews and proceeds to die of ADHD the answer is 4

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

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quantum physics?

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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